Here's a note from Steve and Bev Allen. They are at their home in Ryegate, Vermont - that's going south for the winter for Northeast Kingdom dwellers - and here's why:

Hi Jane,
We took a ride up to the Pond yesterday to see what all that snow looks like - you run out of it when you head south! We drove by Harvey's Lake on the way back - only 10 miles form Joe's Pond but it was wide open - not a bit of ice!
Have a great December!
Steve & Bev

Then I had the following come today, too:

No Deer yet ? That's OK, if you shoot one you have to clean if out (then wash your hands), drag it out and load it on to the car (wash your hands), take it home and hang it up (the wash thing again),

then load your clothes in the washing machine (washing again, plus dry cleaning your woolies, and that makes your hunting woolies stink!) In a couple of days you have to skin out the deer (washing your hands again), then cut it up (washing your hands) before you put the meat in the bags, clean up the mess (washing again to make sure you didn't mess up the freezer bags), wash all the equipment after processing the Deer. Catch the devil from the wife because you stink "deer" after handling the hide, etc. This time you have to wash your whole body!

At last you will have the steaks in the firing pan and drool running down your chin, when from the living room you hear, "Hey, go take a BATH. Something STINKS"!

But It's not about hunting, skinning, packing, or cooking the deer, IT'S ABOUT ALL THE WASHING, AND IT'S NOT EVEN SATURDAY NIGHT! A man's skin can only stand so much soap and water!

Nope, a hunter is better off taking the wife to a nice eating house and have her tell the Chef to take a bath as something out here stinks! Or the hunter may have been better off not shooting the deer in the first place.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it! If you want Deer meat to eat, go to a Big Game supper at a town hall (you will only have to wash your hands before you eat if you want to.)

Some things that may happen to Hunter in the woods :

FALLING OUT OF HIS JEEP GETTING OUT OF IT, RIPPING HIS NEW CAMO PANTS.

GETTING LOST FOR TWO HR. TRYING TO FIND HIS BLIND

TAKING A NATURE CALL WHEN HE SEES THE WORLD'S BIGGEST BUCK DEER

SHOOTING THE THING BEFORE HE PULLS UP HIS PANTS AND TRIPS ON HIS SUSPENDERS

DROPPING HIS GUN, BUSTING A NEW SCOPE AND CAUSING THE GUN TO GO OFF, QUICKLY BACK TO THE NATURE CALL THING.

HAVING NO PAPER, HE USES HIS HANDKERCHIEF - NOSE RUNNING LIKE A DEER NOW.

HE PULLS THE DEER BACK TO THE JEEP (THIS GOES GOOD AS IT WAS DOWN HILL)

LOADING THE DEER ON TO THE JEEP, HE SLIPS IN THE MUD CAUSING THE DEER TO FLIP OVER AND ITS HOOF DOES ITS THING TO THE REAR WINDOW. ( THERE. THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO SHOOT ME! )

HE PICKS UP THE BROKEN GLASS, FINISHES LOADING THE DEER, STARTS TO DRIVE OFF AND FINDS OUT HE SHOT HIS OWN TIRE WHEN HE TRIPPED!

CHANGING THE TIRE, HE DRIVES TWO MILES WHEN THE JEEP QUITS. THE SHOT THAT GOT THE TIRE GOT THE GAS TANK TOO.

A DEER JUMPS OUT FROM THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND RUNS INTO THE FRONT FENDER OF THE JEEP - NICE DENT

ONE NEW PAIR OF PANTS, WINDOW, TIRE, GAS TANK, FRONT FENDER, TOW BILL HOME LATER (AND A KISS FROM HIS WIFE FOR DOING GOOD), HE WILL BE READY FOR NEXT YEAR'S HUNT. (OR NOT)

FELLOW DEER HUNTER, GEORGE PARIZO